ECHOES OF WISDOM: BOYS 2 MEN

ECHOES OF WISDOM: BOYS 2 MEN

He'll show up

When the very foundations upon which you build is shaken

When you are tempted to put question marks on the things you’ve always believed

When all your convictions are fast becoming confusions

When even God appears not to make sense any more

And you see nonsense in everything that used to make sense

When life tosses you in a million directions

And the only logical thing to do is give up

Just hold on a little longer my dear friend

At the nick of time he’ll be right there

To catch you when like everything around you

You are falling faster than you can imagine 

(C) Femmy, Oct 2010

BOYS 2 MEN

Pacing expectantly through the lobby, sweating profusely under the ice-cold air condition, waiting anxiously as the clock ticks by, asking the same question over a million times within such a short time...Praying that someone will finally be the harbinger of the great news…"Nurse how far" was the question that came through his buccal-cavity directed at the tired looking nurse who just strolled out of the labor room that has been shut for several hours . "Congrats, it's a boy" was the answer. Finally, their waiting period was over, a boy has been born...born to make a difference, born to be a change agent in his time, born with zillions of innate potentials, born to be great, born to impact the world with the investment of his personality. Little did we know that this boy though loaded with myriads of potentials will not automatically be all that he's been crafted to be? He’s got a big question mark hanging over his head, a question he must during his life’s foray find answers to for in the answer is the key to unlocking the vista of opportunities life will be throwing at him. He must answer the question “What on earth am I here for”? He's got work to do and herein lays the difference.

The phenomenon called time is witty in several respects chief of which lies in the fact that it has precipitated a myth that presents it as the almighty antidote to solving all of the riddles a man will be presented with during his life’s endeavors hence the popular axiom "time heals all wounds". However, it has to become abundantly clear to this boy that the journey to manhood is not to be attained only as time unfolds, nay; this boy has to unfold his sleeves and get to work. You don't become a man by passing time, accepting whatever life tosses at you, hoping that in the sweet-by-and-by things will ultimately turn out well. This boy needs to know that you don't become a man by developing some attractive masculine biceps, cultivating some thick bushes of hair called moustache on the soil of your face, speaking with some thick baritone voice or better still chasing ladies in the neighborhood to satisfy some hormonal instincts, far from it, becoming a man comes with one word RESPONSIBILITY.

Yeah you cultivate being responsible by taking on responsibilities. Sorry to burn your cable friend, you don't become a man simply because you are thirty or forty years old, we've got loads of forty-year-old-boys walking the streets of our world...look around you I bet you'll see them in their numbers. Funny enough the word responsibility is a compound word (a permutation of two words: RESPONSE & ABILITY). Yes, it is your ability to respond to the things life throws at you in a way that whatever it is, you become better and wiser. It is your ability to spring into action and not just being docile accepting everything as your fate. It is your ability to squeeze out lemonade out of the several bitter lemons life throws at you. It is your ability to rise up after every fall with invaluable experiences to become a better person. It is your ability to build a tastefully furnished mansion out of the tons of stones and bricks life tosses at you. It is your ability to go from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. It is your ability to move on with determination to succeed despite all odds. It is your ability to stick your neck out, stick to your convictions even though the whole world against you convene. It is your ability to believe in yourself and the potentials you carry even if no one believes in you. Bottom line, becoming a man lies in your ability. Man is not what you become as you pass through time; man is what you become as you get processed by time. Don't go through life wishing that things just turn out fine, work through life willing to turn the tide in your favor, remember "if wishes were horses, even beggars will ride". You deserve the very best, it's time for you to demand for it...stop being a boy, be a man: hit the ground running and let's meet at the convocation of great men where I look forward to proposing a toast in celebration of your humongous achievements as a man indeed. See you there and please don't be late - you won't keep great men waiting will you?

To be or not to be

What’s gonna be is gonna be

What goes up must come down

What’s gonna be is gonna be

There’s nothing you can do about it…

This old tune just popped into my mind and for the first time since I’ve been hearing it, I saw something wrong with these lyrics. Truth is: what’s gonna be is gonna be only if you let it be. Hmmm... pregnant statement if you ask me.

The submission that what’s gonna be is gonna be, there’s nothing you can do about it is fallacious in all its ramifications because it tactically abdicated the responsilbilty placed on our shoulders as the ultimate determinant of our predicament to some unknown forces. Don’t be deceived friend, if it must be then it is up to you. You are so powerful that what you allow comes to bear and what you disallow cannot come to fruition, the sad thing however is that we seem to have lost consciousness of the latent power resident within us such that we live our life to chances. Listen to me life is not governed by chance it is ruled by choice, there is no such thing as luck in the school of success (if there is anything called luck I believe it is more like preparation plus opportunity that we so call for want of appropriate nomenclature) hence the concept of luck as something that falls on one’s lap without his input is alien to the principle upon which the world operates. The gospel that God has pre-ordained everything that must happen to happen even without any human participation is very far from the truth because the dynamics of the workings of God dictates that nothing is to be forced on man else he is no longer a human being but a robot. You are not just some inanimate object tossed here and there by every wind of circumstance, that you have a will is indicative of the fact that you are not just to assume a sit-down-look-posture accepting whatever life tosses at you as your fate, you can choose to either accept or reject whatever it is - every operation requires your cooperation.

Arise mate, stop been docile in the game of life, get active and begin to influence things with your willpower as life does not respond to those who go through it hands akimbo expecting to wake up one day to find things taking shape on their own accord. Shape it for it to take shape, keep at the back of your mind that what will be will be if you let it be… and if you don’t want it to be, stand your ground and turn the tide in your favour.

SHALLOM!

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Reading through the holy writ you'll come across this phrase

"…and it came to pass in the process of time…"

A statement pregnant with deep meaning that if we spend some time to unravel we’ll be amazed at the rich message embedded therein. Let’s take some time to x-ray this two-pronged phrase shall we?

The first life changing lesson to be learnt from this phrase is in the 'not-too-spectacular' statement 

"...And it came to pass…"

My dear friend,

In what situations have you found yourself today?

What impregnable mountains are staring you right in the face?

What challenges do you have to grapple with in your life’s foray?

What ravenous wolves do you have to confront with every passing day?

Whatever it is, find solace in this my dear…it has only come to pass; it did not come to stay. It might have lingered on for so long with no solution in the horizon, I have a good news for you, weeping is only permitted to endure for a night; the dawn of a new day is just by the corner. The challenges of life have only come to make you better not bitter so stand your ground and ride out the storm. We’ve all had to at one point or the other in our life confront some seemingly insurmountable situations, occasions when we want to smile but we can only sigh, circumstances when we want to dance but we are weighed down by loads of challenges and encumbered by myriads of encumberances, listen to me friend this too shall pass. Hold on to your conviction and confession of faith for no matter what it is, it has come to pass. I think the popular axiom 'no condition is permanent' is apt in this circumstance, that unpalatable situation may be lasting but it is not everlasting. Very soon, you shall be singing a new song.

I’ll also like to draw your attention to the second part of the phrase…in the process of time.

I have come to discover that everything that must stand the test of time must be processed by time. It takes a process dear. Hear me friend; those who take a lift when they should have trekked will trek when they should have been lifted. There is a time for everything. That your mates and contemporaries seem to have gone ahead of you does not in any way mean that God has forgotten you; it only means that your time has not yet come. Why don’t you exercise some patience and wait for your turn or should I say wait for your time? Remember dear friend to everything there is a season and a time to every activity under the heaven. Don’t just go through time allow time process you so you can come out shining in the process of time.

Take some time to study gold, look at the different process it had to go through right from the time it was discovered and mined up until the time it spent in the furnace but alas it didn't get destroyed in the furnace, it made a grand exit from the furnace shining and sparkling becoming something of high value just because it went through a process. This storm will not swallow you my friend, you are coming out like the hero that you are 'cos you are work in progress. Go through the process, come out a finished product manufactured in the process of time.

Shallom!

WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR HAND?

Just after hanging my jungle boot having collected the piece of paper on which was boldly written ‘certificate of national service’ attesting to the fact that I have donated a year of my life to serve (don’t ask me if it was voluntary) my fatherland then came the time for reality check. Few days down the line the message began to sink that the era of monthly ‘alawe’ was over. There is no doubting the fact that though the monthly stipend could hardly meet my needs it was better than not having a source of income at all after all 'half bread is better than 'poff-poff' but with this half bread gone and the fact that ‘man must wack’ which means by implication that man must work hence came the era of job hunting which I must confess was not funny at all. I remember travelling the length and breadth of Nigeria writing aptitude tests: both the ones I was invited for and the ones I had to ‘gate crash’ (by the way that word was introduced into my dictionary during that period). From NLNG to first bank to access bank to firstinland bank to…the list is long, i kept on writing hoping that at least one will 'click' – by the way these aptitude test centers became my point of rendezvous, meeting several schoolmates that I had lost touch with after graduation. So apart from going to write aptitude test, it presents a platform to catch up on old gist which a times could be therapeutic giving the psychological trauma one was going through at the time.

A direct fallout from this job hunting experience is its clear indictment of our institutions that has been busy churning out tons of graduates – brilliant minds who have been well groomed and prepared for a bright future save that they were not prepared for such eventualities as having to stay jobless or out of job for a long time. The question then remains how do we handle such circumstances should we be confronted with them? I am all out for having a positive mentality and approaching everything with a ‘can do’ attitude but truth be told there are times when things refused to go the way we want it. If anybody had told me when I was passing out from NYSC that I’ll be jobless for more than one whole year I’ll simply refer the person to a psychiatrist to have his head examined because apart from graduating as one of the best in my class, I also have innate potentials which I know will give me a hedge coupled with the God factor – common with this trio on my side I should land a dream job almost immediately, but alas to my greatest chagrin, there was I writing one aptitude test after another without getting the job.

If for anything, this episode taught me to get back to the drawing board and redefine my expectations. Believe me the moment I decided to look inwards I was able to open a vista of opportunities which eventually landed me a good job. I suddenly discovered that I was at least good at something – talking, so I decided to go into motivational and public speaking cum event compeering and trust me there was no need to look for job any more. So when eventually I got a job, it was more like the job came to me. I stopped being desperate about getting a job, I focused more on developing myself and building my business even though I still wanted to have a working experience but now my value has changed, I saw getting a job more like an opportunity to learn and garner the requisite experience to build my own organization as opposed to looking for job just as a means of livelihood.

What led to this paradigm shift in my mentality?

Simple; looking inwards.

We are apt to look up, look around, look down…look everywhere but within.

If only we turn the searchlight inwards we’ll be amazed at the latent potentials we carry. You’ll be shocked to know that the solution to your predicament is in your hands, if only you can stop running back and forth invest your time in some deep thinking you’ll be surprised at the myriads of solutions that you’ll come up with which will eventually land you in your place of rest. I for one believe that we are all born naked but no one is born empty, so I ask you my dear friend “what is that in your hand”? Take it from me, it’s in your hand just go ahead and use it or like peak milk will say “it’s in you”.

 Let's meet at the top shall we? it's up to you yes you.

THE ‘ME’ I SEE

I’ve always wondered what life has in store for me

I’ve always wondered what lies beneath the surface

I’ve always wondered what will become of me

I am extremely anxious about my tomorrow

I am constantly hunted by the thought of not maximizing my potentials

I have fears, load of them

Chief of which is departing without impacting

Every passing day I strive to make my life count

Peradventure I can also be counted among the great

But a fundamental truth I seem to be ignoring

That the ‘me’ I see is the ‘me’ I’ll be

Then came the Eureka moment!

When finally I got the ancient secret

Consequent upon which I began speaking another language

I see me affecting my world positively

I see me putting smiles on the faces of millions

I see me being the answer to the question of many

I see me being the solution to the problem of many

I see me providing the leadership that my world needs

I see me being a voice in my generation

I see me being the change that my world has been waiting for

I see me lending a hand to millions of helpless folks around the world

I see me being the catalyst of global revolution

I see me being the hero of my time

I see me facing my creator with a sense of satisfaction

Cos the me I see is the me I’ll be

Take a look into the mirror my dear friend

What exactly do you see?

Begin to declare that which you have seen

Cos the ‘you’ you see is the ‘you’ you’ll be

SHALLOM!